And it’s official

Life in Canada is lonely. When we packed our bags and moved here, I think we were still unclear about our reasons why. At some level, I think for A, it was so parents could realise their dream of visiting abroad. For me, I guess I just wanted a first world experience. Not that life in bangalore was bad, in fact it was great. Even now, when I think back, I have only fond memories. Even so, in a way, the romantic in me felt that building our life afresh in a new place would be such a great thing for the relationship because of a shared nature of experiencing something brand new. In a sense, moving to a new country together is sort of like experiencing the parenthood journey 😊. But like I said, that’s the romantic in me and life is not all romance, not for everyone.

We have a few friends here, some we knew from India and some were friends of friends. In a foreign land, you work harder at friendships. Both A and I are not socially magnetic people, although A is super friendly and loves to make friends. Anyhow, the first people we revealed the pregnancy to were a couple, B&B, who started out as friends of friends, are lovely people and I have come to like them a lot. I hope we can be friends for a long time.

By now, my probation period is over and I have announced my pregnancy to my manager (was super anxious about this but once you bite the bullet, it’s such a relief). Canada allows a mat leave of  upto 1 year with payouts by govt. Which have a ceiling so I will have some loss of pay. My company will cover me upto 17 weeks so I decide to take mat leave of only 17 weeks. After all, that’s still more than what I would have got in India. B&B advise me strongly against it but I keep my options open.

We make the big reveal to families next – to in laws very casually during a video call. They were caught unawares; they had been waiting so long for this and after 7 years of our marriage, I guess they had given up. I told my mom over phone just as they were leaving for a long train journey to the other end of the country. It was all very muted, and for a while, it was as if they didn’t acknowledge it at all. Well, anyway…

Pregnancy has kinda sunk in now. I have had zero morning sickness or any other side effects. I feel great. I want to do a trip somewhere, so we go to montreal (loved it) and then, Algonquin to see the fall colors. Fall is my favorite season but then, who doesn’t like Fall, eh?

Now that it’s official, everyone has some advice for me. And by that, I mean my in-laws because like I said, it hasn’t really sunk in for my parents yet. They tell me not to eat papaya or pineapple. The Rebel in me resents this advice because I checked with my ob and she says it’s a myth. Anyhow, A requests me not to eat and I wonder if that’s how it’s gonna be from now on – we throw scientific facts out the window and listen to old wisdom from parents and grand parents which may not be right. But after what I have experienced in this journey with  A so far, it hasn’t been like that and I am grateful to him for that. We are doing this our way with parents advising us but we are still the decision makers. That’s the way it should be, but in India is usually not. In fact, here, I am able to be active and carry on my daily life without any changes. I love that.

I haven’t had any cravings per se, although the baby seems to love the aroma of meat and hates certain veggies like green peppers, which make me slightly nauseous but I can eat them still.

I don’t know if it’s because of the mood I am in today or the sum total of my experience here in Canada, but I feel lonely and it makes me feel that yes, I might have had a few distractions (and the familiarity factor) in India that would make it less so but I would have been lonely there too. Because to me, loneliness is a deeply internal feeling with only influencing factor being the state of your closest relationships.

I have to admit though, North America ( and by that, I mean the US and Canada) are a little bland for my taste. They don’t have the dizzying chaos of India or the refined elegance of Europe. We are still mentally converting the dollars into indian currency before buying anything and it’s not a happy calculation.

Oh well, at least we have jobs and  some friends to hang out with and that’s more than what many new immigrants have. Anyways, our first Canadian winter experience is just around the corner and I am looking forward to it. 😊

It’s early days yet

Coming from India, where medical profession is not so regulated, Canada is a huge change. We didn’t have a family doctor yet, but with the pregnancy, things get into a fast forward mode for us.

We haven’t had to experience the infamous wait times etc in Canada yet (fingers and toes crossed that we don’t). We did have to wait for 2 -3 weeks for our first appointment with the family doctor. But once that happened, things fell into place quite easily. Our family doctor referred us to a great ob-gyn and she works right across from my office!!

By this time, I have made a few acquaintances at work. Haven’t announced my pregnancy yet, waiting for the first trimester to get over as they say the chances of miscarriage are pretty high then. I am still on probation and mulling to myself if I should tell the manager about the pregnancy before probation is over. I decide not to, because of the first trimester thing again.

Trying to go for a walk everyday. Work is new and I am learning and doing a lot ; really enjoying my work but three words play constantly in my head – I am pregnant.

 

The blue line

You can tell how much having a baby was on our minds, or how naive we were, when we signed a lease for a tiny 1 bedroom apartment for our first year in Toronto.

Our first night in the new house, we find out about the pregnancy. It was all too sudden for me and to be honest, I was kind of in a denial. I could never imagine myself having kids and yet here I was. Was I ready for a baby, or is it possible to ever be ready? I guess not. You take baby steps (pun intended).

And what better time or place for a brand new phase of life – new country, new job, new everything. People say their lives change a lot after a baby, but our new lives were already in a flux. When we have a baby after a few months, it would be a part of our quest to find the new normal.

I see people with a few days old babies, doing their grocery shopping at Walmart or traveling to offbeat places and slowly, I am getting used to the idea that having a baby can be a manageable experience.

Maybe right now, you have a smirk on your face with a thought in your head  – let’s see about that. So you know what – yes, let’s see about that.

 

The new…everything

2016… A year like no other for me.

The year of moving to a new country

The year of leaving a job without knowing if I will get another where I was going

The year of landing in Canada and within 2 weeks, getting  several job offers. Oh the high of knowing you are valued!

The year of living in a cramped basement for the first time in my life and then moving into a tiny 1 bedroom apartment

The year of learning to do everything by myself.

The year of feeling uprooted

The year of feeling free like I hadn’t in a long time

And, finally

The year when I became pregnant. Oh my, can anything come close to  the memories of the time when your life changes irreversibly.

More on this last change in the next few blogs, oh I have got so much to say. 😊